Let my monsters see me smile

My heart lies quiet within

Dormant, expecting storms again to arise

My emotions lie dead

Hiding their shine

Fearing that their flickering flames

May be permanently blown out.

So I kill them.

I cry that it is mere caution,

I am being a safeguard for myself.

But if I am honest,

Truly honest,

I will admit my love for the dark

I dance in its welcoming arms

For it never pushes me away

The light, the healing, the warmth

Scares me,

Shakes me

But in the dark I can hide

From my cowardly fears,

From my pathetic weakness

Until the light reveals a mirror

And I see what I’ve become.

Show me where you’ve run off to

Because I’d love to follow

My mind skips off after whatever it sees

Whatever may shine the brightest

But my heart knows where it ought to focus,

Powerless as it may be to stop it.

O, heart of mine, grow strong again

O, mind of mine, find your resolve again

My spirit sleeps deep down inside

And cries through nightmares for the dawn to break,

Before it does.

Before I shatter one last time

Before the light can’t find me again.

Yet here I lie in my temporary sun,

And I tell myself it is enough.

It’s fine.

I don’t need more.

But then true light breaks through, 

Shatters the illusion,

Brings me to my knees.

My sun waves its white flag

And once again I’m on my face

But when the shock wears off

I crawl right back

Into my hole,

My darkness,

Myself.