My heart lies quiet within
Dormant, expecting storms again to arise
My emotions lie dead
Hiding their shine
Fearing that their flickering flames
May be permanently blown out.
So I kill them.
I cry that it is mere caution,
I am being a safeguard for myself.
But if I am honest,
I will admit my love for the dark
I dance in its welcoming arms
For it never pushes me away
The light, the healing, the warmth
But in the dark I can hide
From my cowardly fears,
From my pathetic weakness
Until the light reveals a mirror
And I see what I’ve become.
Show me where you’ve run off to
Because I’d love to follow
My mind skips off after whatever it sees
Whatever may shine the brightest
But my heart knows where it ought to focus,
Powerless as it may be to stop it.
O, heart of mine, grow strong again
O, mind of mine, find your resolve again
My spirit sleeps deep down inside
And cries through nightmares for the dawn to break,
Before it does.
Before I shatter one last time
Before the light can’t find me again.
Yet here I lie in my temporary sun,
And I tell myself it is enough.
I don’t need more.
But then true light breaks through,
Shatters the illusion,
Brings me to my knees.
My sun waves its white flag
And once again I’m on my face
But when the shock wears off
I crawl right back
Into my hole,